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Joke of the Day

"What did the heatsink say to the CPU? ""I'm a huge fan!"""

"I've never laughed at anything any of you losers have posted here on this forum. It's sad as fuck."

"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""

"My boss just asked if I'm illiterate, which is offensive because I know exactly who my father is."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a Disney movie? Disney movies can still touch little kids."

"""Mom, I'm sorry I'm not a doctor."" -Me ""It's okay if you're not a doctor, or anything else."" -Mom So true, much wow, no shock."

"How to make-out - 1. Hold her close 2. Kiss passionately 3. Don't mention the budget deficit or your father"

"What are your best family friendly Christmas jokes? I need some for tonight."

"We're learning more about the sale of the L.A. Clippers. Insiders say it came down to a bidding war between Steve Ballmer and Oprah. I'll let you guess who Donald Sterling rooted for."

"I applied for a loan from the U.S. Government, but was turned down because I had a legitimate repayment plan"