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Joke of the Day

"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"

"""How about a month of obligations, overspending, difficult travel and horrible weather?"" - The pitch for the month of December."

"These days HD is so good, when you watch an NFL game you can see the murder evidence."

"What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter, it won't come anyways."

"For your information, we'll be remembered as the generation who thought a fat Korean pretending to ride a horse was entertaining to look at."

"My mom said if I don't stop using reddit she will bang my head on keyboard But I know she will never do that because she loves medssxcvnklkjfsaarfscnnlknvdgjjbcfggukkfrhhvvvrrjbzddsazvbdwjjhguoiufde"

"HOW I DRESS FOR UNIVERSITY First day of the week: brad pitt Last day of the week: homeless druggie"

"Im half scotch. And i dont mean scottish."

"My dicks like Tinkerbell if you believe hard enough it comes right back up."

"[Pun] Why did Henry invent the assembly line? He couldn't a-Ford not to. *bad-dum tish*"