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Joke of the Day

"I sent a text to my friend's mobile: ""Lost my contacts. Send me your number"". He replied with his name and number."

"What do you call a lizard who can't easily have sex? A reptile dysfunction"

"What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a prostitute with Diarrhea? The farmer has the fits while he shucks."

"[me explainin to the kids why they're having soup and one cheese singlet for dinner] there's a place called online & im very important there"

"A Sleepwalking Nun What do you call a sleepwalking nun? A roamin' catholic"

"On your own, it's just near impossible to scrub your own back which is why a shower wall made entirely of loofah would really come in handy."

"Privacy is very important to me. That is why I only share sensitive information with my closest 480 friends on Facebook."

"Me and my wife decided to form a suicide pact... Weird thing was that after she killed herself, I didn't feel like dying anymore."

"""well that's a load on my back"" - relieved slut"

"Alright white people, had to Google ""totes"" to find out what the hell it meant. I know one of you came up with it. Cut that shit out."