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Joke of the Day

"My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting..."

"People tell me sharing is caring. Good thing I don't care."

"What do you call a gay vampire? A fruit bat."

"Did you hear about the drummer who fell and hit his head? He was percussed."

"My wife is talking about wanting to have children. I don't think I am ready for her to be a single mom."

"Knock knock! Who's there Jehovah Witnesses Jehovah Wit... *covers their mouth* SSSHHHhhh There right outside"

"When someone tries to hand me a flyer... ...it's kind of like saying ""Here, you throw this away."""

"Good yawning everyone"

"What do you call a salad that's been cut with a knife? Ceasar"

"Morse code is like taking a shower with black guys and asian Long short long long long short long short short"