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Joke of the Day
"What is the prettiest thing about a DC girl? Her resume."
Next Joke
"My grandfather's holocaust stories aren't half as depressing as the contestant interview segment on Jeopardy."
"What is a chemist's favourite restaurant? Rubidium's."
"Why dont blind people go skydiving? It scares the hell out of the dog."
"To be honest, I'm not going to be completely happy until Facebook implements a 'I Wish You Were Dead' button."
"I sold my vacuum cleaner on ebay........ It was just sat in the corner collecting dust....."
"Wanna hear a short joke ? Wanna hear another one ?"
"I use my neighbor's outdoor jacuzzi for bubble bath time with my cat. I'd invite him, but my cat's funny about bathing with strangers."
"*gets on 1 knee* Me: I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but will you marry me? Her: Please get off my knee"
"I once took out the trash for four straight months Then we broke up."