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Joke of the Day

"Dear car commercials, You probably don't mean to scare me but ""German engineering"" is also why I don't have so many cousins today."

"What do all Japanese Airmen wear eye patches? Because they're pirots!"

"So I ate 4 cans of alphabet soup today.. I'm expecting a massive vowel movement."

"Don't call Donald Trump a cunt. He lacks the warmth and depth."

"I bought Fenugreek from a Drug Dealer It was a little *Methi*."

"When I die, can you do me a favor and tell my wife that I loved her? Thanks. Oh and delete my tweets. My password is thisbitchiskillingme."

"What does Saddam Hussein and little Miss Moffat have in common? They both had curds/Kurds in their whey/way!"

"2 drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff. Badum tsss."

"What's Christmas called in England ? Yule Britannia !"

"unlike drugs, twitter addiction won't cost you anything, except your social life"