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Joke of the Day

"I'm planning on having a three-some with a chicken and an egg tonight I'll let you know."

"""How do you perform mediation?"" ""Meditation? Uuuummmmmmm........"""

"How many dead hookers does it take to screw a light bulb? Why the hell would my basement even need light?"

"The NHL's ability to punish players."

"A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her."

"What is the worlds friendliest aircraft? A hellocopter!"

"Why don't you want to win an award for Best Feline Sphincter? Because it's a catastrophe :-) Yeah, ok, I'll be going now. EDIT: removed explanation."

"Why use words you don't understand in your tweets? It just makes you look photosynthesis."

"The acronym NASCAR stands for: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks"

"Wives are like boats. Happy the day you get one. Happier the day you get rid of it."