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Joke of the Day

"Wives are like boats. Happy the day you get one. Happier the day you get rid of it."

"You know why gay men make such easy prisoners to guard... Because most already have a whistling alarm for when they try to run."

"Where does Vladimir keep his shit? In a Putin"

"Howabout plastic, reusable tortilla chips where you could just suck the guacamole off them?"

"Mr whippy was found dead today with a flake up his ass, chocolate sprinkles on his penis and strawberry sauce on his bollocks. Police think he topped himself."

"What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire? Frostbite"

"Atheism... is a non-prophet organization."

"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"

"How long does it take to get from Louisiana to Alabama? One Mississippi."

"Why does Donald Trump take women out on his yacht? Because of the implication."