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Joke of the Day

"The acronym NASCAR stands for: Non-Athletic Sport Centered Around Rednecks"

"HIM: [awkwardly] wanna go see a movie? HER: sure, sounds great. [next day] HIM: could i maybe come with you next time?"

"""Dad can you write in the dark?"" ""I think so. What is it you want me to write?"" ""Your name on this report card."""

"What's up in the sky, oh so high? A baby falling out of an airplane."

"[A Sex Joke] Get Your Jokes On Q. Which Kind Of Girls Wear Transparent Clothes? Answer : ""Those Girls Who Don't Trust The Imagination Power Of A Boy"""

"Why was the cow scared about going into the slaughter house? His life was at stake. Badum psh."

"What did the Italian say to his grandmother with alzheimer's? fugetaboutit!"

"Meet my good friend 50 Cent, or as he's known across the pond... 10,000 Pounds"

"I leave notes around the house to remind me of things I need to do, like ""Pick up milk"" or ""Pay gas bill"" or ""Stop wasting your life away"""

"Facebook: My little man is the best thing that's ever happened to me! Twitter: Free baby. DM for details."