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Joke of the Day
"I just got laid. But don't worry, I was totally thinking about you guys the whole time."
Next Joke
"So a pun, a play on words, and an anecdote walk into a bar. No joke."
"Why did the chicken cross the street? **DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**"
"""A Bunch of Stuff I Remembered and Then Compiled into a Narratively Cohesive Yet Inconsistently Compelling Tome: A Memoir"""
"Now that Donald Trump will be President, I really hope he builds the wall. We need to keep all those crazy Americans contained."
"I just got a text from a number I don't recognize saying, 'You're an embarrassment of a son'. I've narrowed it down to 2 people."
"Where did the bull carry his stock-market report? In his beef case!"
"What's the dirtiest thing ever said at a gay bar? ""Excuse me sir, do you mind if I push in your stool?"""
"I know a good joke about hipsters. You've probably never heard it."
"How do you make beef stew? Tell a cow they're being watched."