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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the street? **DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH YOUR LIFE!**"

"""Your mom is over capacity."" - me under my breath to twitter a second ago"

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"There was a kidnapping in my school today. Thank god he woke up."

"what's the difference between a normal consumer and a prostitute? A normal consumer aims to get the most bang for their buck. A prostitute aims to get the most buck for their bang."

"Knowledge is like underwear. It is useful to have it, but it's not necessary to show it off."

"Don't people who say ""cray cray"" realize how stew stew they sound?"

"Ever since I read an article about the danger of smoking I stopped reading."

"If I'd been around in France when Marie Antoinette said ""let them eat cake,"" I would've been like ""wait a minute, let's hear this lady out."""

"The creator of the 'knock knock' joke was awarded a prize today Unfortunately he wasn't in to receive it"