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Joke of the Day

"Apple CEO Tim Cook comes out as gay... No wonder the iPhone 6 won't stay straight!"

"If you want to intimidate anyone with your screaming and honking, you may need to rethink those reindeer antlers on your car."

"Q: What is the difference between a banjo and an Uzi submachine gun? A: An Uzi only repeats 40 times."

"What's today's date? Germany/Brazil/2016"

"I slipped on some black ice today I knew it was black ice because now my wallets missing."

"If you've been unemployed for a while, update your resume to say youve been a Blockbuster manager for the last decade. HOW WOULD THEY KNOW!?"

"im leavin the united states now that trump is president i am packing my bags and moving to alaska i don't wanna live in this country anymore"

"I'm training my cats to use the bathroom like people. It really works! [cut to bathroom: two cats do cocaine off the toilet tank]"

"TIL why it is called a Brazilian wax. Because they cut down the forrest."

"What do waiters want most after dinner? The tip!"