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Joke of the Day
"What do waiters want most after dinner? The tip!"
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"Words to live by What doesn't kill you, isn't in Australia"
"What did the porn actress say when she opened the door? Make sure to come upstairs."
"I accidently pooped myself in the elevator. I'm taking this shit to a whole new level."
"Sitting with Grandma at the hospital. She noticed me checking my watch and said, ""Go on Dummy. I know brunch is almost over at the tit bar."""
"Why are math students so skinny? Because they buy no meals. (Binomials)"
"Why can't a blonde count to 70. Because 69 is a mouthful."
"What is red and goes putt putt putt? An outboard apple."
"I renewed my driver's license today and was asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I declined but did offer to give them my old harmonica."
"A friend told me that I don't understand irony... ... which is ironic, because I was was waiting for a bus at the time. -- Alanis Morissette (not really)"