200264

Joke of the Day

"If you want to intimidate anyone with your screaming and honking, you may need to rethink those reindeer antlers on your car."

"I tried building a robotic midget... but it had a short circuit."

"My wife came from the country... and hit every branch on the way down."

"""Screw you, my face doesn't look like that at all"" - an actual duck."

"What makes a freezer and a gay man different? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"A friend if mine asked me what will I do tomorrow... I told him I have to go on HIV test and then he replied, Oh shit... I am sure you can do it... stay positive!"

"I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since."

"Every time I use a public bathroom, one thought occurs...""Seriously? This many people have Sharpies on them at all times?"""

"My gf could be a an NFL running back she will *not* go down."

"The opposite of Thanksgiving leftovers is Thanksgiving rightunders. I'm so sorry"