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Joke of the Day

"If you've been unemployed for a while, update your resume to say youve been a Blockbuster manager for the last decade. HOW WOULD THEY KNOW!?"

"How many tickles... How many tickles before a squid starts to laugh? Ten tickles"

"Kia or Nokia? There is a company called Kia and a company called no Kia. I'm not sure who to believe..."

"The first time I took Viagra it got caught in my throat... I had a stiff neck for HOURS!"

"Which states is Bernie most popular in? Denmark, Sweden and Norway."

"Being cross-eyed has made it difficult for me to stay in monogamous relationships Sometimes when I'm seeing a girl I can't help but also see someone else on the side"

"Trump is like The Room. It's so bad, it's so good."

"I don't see what's so offensive about calling someone from Pakistan a Paki... It's like calling someone from Scotland a Scot, an Australian an Aussie or someone from France a cunt"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity I just can't put it down!"

"Trying to think of something fun to do with the kids so I can Instagram it & look like a great dad."