129794

Joke of the Day

"I'm training my cats to use the bathroom like people. It really works! [cut to bathroom: two cats do cocaine off the toilet tank]"

"During the day I don't believe in ghosts, But at night I'm a little bit more open minded"

"A vampire masturbating into a mirror. You didn't see that coming."

"Why is the fungus such a hypocrite? because it doesn't have mushroom to talk."

"Apparently I'm ""an insensitive arsehole"" for referring to my girlfriend's allergic reaction to a box of chocolates (and subsequent fit) as a ""truffle shuffle""..."

"Who is a bodybuilder's favourite painter? [Gainsborough](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thomas_Gainsborough) ^Pronounced ^""Gainz, ^brah"""

"Maybe the raccoons threw away something very important. Did you ever think about that you big jerk."

"what do you call a rhinoceros mixed with george washington? hell if i know."

"Have you heard about these new super-sensitive condoms? After the man leaves, they hang around and talk to the woman."

"How do you know if an Asian is depressed? All around them are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces."