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Joke of the Day

"HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again."

"Damn girl are you Jewish! Cuz these balls are matzoh."

"When Homer Simpson plays Dungeons & Dragons... He uses a D'oh!-decahedron."

"What do you call a fat psychic... ...a psychic you fat shaming cunt"

"We all have someone's phone number in our phone and they have no idea we have it!"

"Jedi Joke Padawan: Master, when I will become a Jedi, will I be allowed to use e-mail? Jedi Master: Of-course my child, only without attachments!"

"Why was the OCD race car driver so fast? Because he had anal prolapse."

"What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Anyone can roast beef."

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"Shockingly True What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair."