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Joke of the Day

"Which weather features do druggies like most? Highs"

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and a robot designed by the Military industrial complex? I'd fuck the robot."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Crock and Dial ! Crock and Dial who ? Crock and Dial Dundee !"

"I used to have a friend who wanted to be run over by a steam train... When he finally was, he was chuffed to bits."

"I'm not comfortable with my sexuality... but luckily I have a discomfort fetish."

"What do you get when you cross a bear and a spider? A six-legged, honey-lovin', web-spinnin' **freak!**"

"Starting now, every hour, on the hour, walk up to a stranger and slip the tongue in. Because it's midnight somewhere. HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

"Apologising Made Simple by Thayer Thorry"

"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"

"Nick: Can you tell me the way to Bath? Rick: I use soap and water personally."