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Joke of the Day

"What Does a Duck Smoke? ( _)>- **Quack** (_)"

"Just had a panic attack thinking how little time I've practiced picking up stuff with my toes in the event I ever lose my arms."

"What kinds of jokes do cats play on each other? Purranks."

"Chuck Norris' calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Chuck Norris."

"I tried to pick up the scale in the bathroom and threw out my back It weighs a lot"

"What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !"

"There was a problem with my AC device It's all cool now though"

"Abortion is a tough issue for me. On one hand I love killing babies but on the other I don't want to give women rights."

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with large breasts? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean Credit; Dad"

"Dr: We need you to come back for additional blood work... Me: Why, is something wrong?! Dr: Yes. Your blood sample was mostly champagne..."