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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an old bus stop and a lobster with large breasts? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean Credit; Dad"

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"When I was just a little girl I asked my mother, what will I be? Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me No"
"I invented the upside down house. It's now a top cellar."
"The wonderful world of Ironi ""Saw an asian classmate eat ramen and thought 'how typical' than looked down at my El Pollo Loco"" - Hispanic colleague"
"Why did the chicken lay an egg? (Quoted from daughter at age 3) To get food for her babies!"
"Complimented Taylor Swift on her shirt yesterday and now she's in a tree outside my window with a guitar and a wedding dress. Send.Help.Now."
"How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they have machines for that these days"
"Why do hitman always wear gloves? because theyre always wacking guys off...."
"I'm not superstitious, I'm just a bit stitious."
"There are two kinds of friends : those who are around when you need them, and those who are around when they need you."