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Joke of the Day

"Just had a panic attack thinking how little time I've practiced picking up stuff with my toes in the event I ever lose my arms."

Next Joke
 
"How does a fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!"
"Two midgets are sitting around, bored... When one of them pulls out some weed and asks: ""Wanna get medium?"""
"You can't put a price on slippery lemons."
"Why is Santa so jolly? He knows where the naughty girls live."
"Did you hear about this year's newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey? The swim-fast diet."
"No longer bothered by my puns ... she's groan immune."
"Tell my WiFi love her."
"Did I tell you guys about my awesome camping trip? Yea, it was in tents"
"So much traffic around the funeral home... I guess it's not a dying business."