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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross an elephant and a kangaroo ? Big holes all over Australia !"

"Why did everybody where white pants at The Masters? Dustin Johnson sneezed."

"This Christmas, I got a new car for my wife I thought it was a great trade."

"If you are ever attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the jugg'ler."

"Going to prison I was just sentenced to twenty years for my part in a timeshare fraud. I have to go to prison for two weeks every year for 10 years."

"My debit card got stolen at the gym which is fine because i will still continue to go so that I can train to fight the person who stole it"

"{Driving behind semi} *Sees the 'How Am I Driving' sign* *Panics* Hello?! There's a problem. Your driver doesn't understand how he's driving"

"Nothing makes you look like an alcoholic more than not knowing how you got a cut on your face."

"Drove a wedge of suspicion today between the fast food employee at the first window and the one at the second."

"How do Asians name their babies? They throw a drawer of silverware down the stairs and name it whatever sound it makes."