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Joke of the Day

"Just got back in the USA, I heard something about a party here? I don't know, there's a song about it and everything."

"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."

"Would you like to hear a Helen Keller joke? So would she."

"I'd rather my kid bring home head lice than another goddamn fundraising form."

"More valuable than Superman The clear history button in your browser has saved more lives than Superman."

"If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra"

"A Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him: "" Sudden Lee""."

"You know what they say about a guy with tiny arms? He has tiny legs. (if you know what i mean)"

"What do triangles do in the summer? They tan."

"FIRST TIME SEX My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: ""What are you doing?"" Me: ""I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering."