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Joke of the Day

"FIRST TIME SEX My 1st time having sex. I suddenly stopped and didn't move. She: ""What are you doing?"" Me: ""I've seen this on YouPorn, it's called Buffering."

"How do you stop a Mexican tank? Shoot the guy who's pushing it."

"What do you call the security guards outside Samsung shops? Guardians of the Galaxy"

"A man was arrested today for masturbating on a subway. Apparently, it's a crime to be metrosexual."

"I appreciate the transparency Domino's pizza tracker provides, but updates like ""Carl dropped your pizza"" & ""5 second rule"" are a bit much."

"Just hit a racist with my car. Probably a racist. I feel like he was. Statistically, very likely. Oh so you think there's no racism problem?"

"What does an Australian use instaed of toilet paper? Bidet, mate."

"So I was thinking while taking the biggest dump of my life... and I just feel so empty inside."

"Why don't girls count to two? Because they ""can't even."""

"My favourite Haiku Space is limited In a haiku, so it's hard To finish what you"