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Joke of the Day
"I'd stop disappointing you, if you stopped expecting me to do stuff."
Next Joke
"My ex broke up with me but left a bag of chips in my car. 3 weeks passed and I texted ""I still got your chips if you want them."""
"Kid goes to buy weed for the first time. Kid: how much you want for that half ounce? Dealer: 4 20s Ill go hide in shame."
"Stranger: Sir your fly is down... Me: Oh geez! Thanks. *Bends down and picks up fly* Me: He's had some wing issues lately"
"I'm a practicing Catholic But I'm not ready to go pro just yet."
"I went to France yesterday to see a soccer match... I had a blast!"
"What do you call an Arab with a hammer on his head?"
"""I'm a people person."" - outgoing guy. ""I'm a geese goose."" - outgoing goose."
"What is the best way to avoid having your flight bombed? Bring your own bomb! Cause what are the odds that there are **two** bombs on the same plane?"
"Why did the dog go to the hospital? He was feeling ruff."