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Joke of the Day

"If im walking around with my arms crossed, there's a 90% chance im not mad...Im just probably not wearing a bra"

"Why shouldn't you kiss someone on January 1st? because its the first date"

"""Of course size matters!"" My girlfriend screamed when I told her how big it was. Who the fuck wants a small pizza?"

"I've got trouble with the wife again - she came into the bar looking for me and I asked for her number."

"Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger But she did move to California in 1849..."

"How do you stop a mexican tank? You shoot the guy pushing it."

"I like my women like I like my drain pipes. Covered in a thin layer of PVC and attached to a wall."

"Give a man a fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of the night. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"What do you call a tennis match between Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder? Endless love."

"What do you call a show about puns? A play on words."