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Joke of the Day

"I put two pairs of cargo pants in my cargo pants pockets, just in case I need more cargo pants."

"I hate it when my kid says, ""But mom, it was an accident!"" Yeah? Well so were you, but I still have to take responsibility for you..."

"""We have a new product, it washes hair but it needs a name"" Shamcrap?! ""Awful"" Shampoop?! ""Get out!"" Shampoo? ""Genius!"""

"Did you hear about the unnecessarily large string orchestra? It was shut down due to mass violins"

"2 black people are quickly walking to work get it?"

"How many seconds are in a year? Only 12. One for every month."

"what is Bruce/Caitlyn Jenner's latest award? Tripod of the year."

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."

"What's similar between a 9v battery and an asshole? Your tongue ends up on it even though you know it's wrong."

"My Dad always calls me goldfish... I forget why"