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Joke of the Day

"You catch more flies with honey, even more with a dead body and way more with honey on a dead body."

"What exactly do you have to plant to grow a seedless watermelon? Just water?"

"I hate laundry, dishes, sweeping, mopping, dusting, fixing and fetching. The only logical conclusion is that I am descended from royalty."

"What Do You Call A Bad Mexican Restaurant? Shitpotle"

"What did the policeman say when he pulled over a nissan? Nissan Haltima Bonus: What do you call it when a kia pulls up to a red light? Kia stoptima"

"You see those cows over there? They are outstanding in their field."

"What goes cluck, cluck, cluck, boom? A chicken stepping on a landmine."

"By the power vested in me by this vintage merlot, I now pronounce us husband and wife. I may now kiss the bottle."

"Why doesn't the Sun go to college? Because he has a million of degrees."

"All it took was a skirt and one strong gust of wind and all of a sudden, my spirit animal is Hello Kitty."