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Joke of the Day
"My Dad always calls me goldfish... I forget why"
Next Joke
"I no longer see my wife and kids because of gambling. I won a shitload of money and moved to Spain."
"You heard what Pedro the weatherman reported? Chili today, hot tamale"
"Journalists love covering Lindsay Lohan because what she is to actresses, they are to professions."
"I went for a run today. What the hell is wrong with you people why would you do this to yourself you need help."
"[diary, day 3642 on deserted island] How can I still be fat?"
"Man who looks forward to spending his entire life with Kim Kardashian disagrees with Grammy decision."
"""you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!"" ""it's just not working out"" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*"
"What's a pirates favorite class? Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt"
"My kid asked me where babies came from and I was like ""Dude, ask your Mom. I still can't figure out why Garfield talks and Odie doesn't."""