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Joke of the Day

"CAT: Can u check my blood pressure? DR DOG: *places cuff around cat's neck* Sure CAT: Shouldnt that go on m- DR DOG: *inflating cuff* Ssshhh"

"What is a spiders favourite TV show ? The newly web game !"

"Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight! One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, ""If you cross this line i will punch you!"" That was the punchline."

"If you cross your fingers after surgery you'll heal faster Or maybe that's just super stichin'"

"The problem with Chris Brown jokes is . . . He always beats you to the punch."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? Nothing. They're both on Reddit EVERY FUCKING DAY."

"Ever heard of rodeo sex? NSFW That's where you mount her from behind, then lean forward and whisper ""this is how your sister liked it."" and see if you can stay on for ten seconds! :)"

"What is the difference between michael jackson,and neil armstrong... neil armstrong was the first man to walk on the MOON,and michael jackson likes to fuck little boys in the ass."

"[dj voice] ""What's up Dad Party!"" *dads go nuts* ""I wanna know, IS IT GETTING HOT IN HERE?!?"" [dads in unison] DON'T TOUCH THE THERMOSTAT"

"Marriage is like a bar of soap. It smells delicious until you take a bite out of it!"