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Joke of the Day

"Two men walk out of a bar, both are drunk and ready to fight! One draws a line in the dirt and says to the other man, ""If you cross this line i will punch you!"" That was the punchline."

"[Racist] So a black guy and a Mexican fall out of a tree. Who hits the ground first? The Mexican. The black guy's stopped by the rope!"

"A man gets into an accident in which both his ring fingers are cut off. Needless to say, his wife was shocked."

"I set my GPS voice to Mom, and now when I miss a turn, it says ""Your sister wouldn't have missed that."""

"How do you cook toilet paper? You brown it on one side"

"What did Ozzy Osbourne do after eating a whole Bull? He threw up the horns."

"""this has never happened before"" is that a yes or no? ""let me check"" [talks into radio] ""steve can we let a dog on the rollercoaster?"""

"If you look like your passport photo You probably aren't well enough to travel."

"I put as much effort into life... As the guy who named the sleeping bag"

"I was walking through Home Depot yesterday when I tripped and knocked an industrial vacuum cleaner onto a bunch of carpentry tools. It sucked on so many levels..."