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Joke of the Day
"I was going to have an edging tournament with some friends... ...but nobody came."
Next Joke
"Almost Instant Joy Find any Fast Song (Rap to Electro) Click Settings, Crank up the Speed 1.25: 1.5: Instant Twerk Music 2: The 2 is for 2Fast6You Only on Computers. RIP Phone Users"
"Where does a librarian sleep? Between the covers. I will now show myself to the door."
"If someone could find a way to make all pets live as long as humans that person would win all the Nobel prizes until the end of time."
"Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Because they're two tired!"
"ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch."
"I went to the doctor with a hearing problem... I told him I got fucked in the ear. Now I have hearing aids."
"too poor for whole foods too ugly for walmart"
"I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons. She did not find it humorous"
"Knock Knock. Who's there? No, he's on first. **I totally just thought of this, where do I go to collect my money?** *Edit: spelling"