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Joke of the Day

"If someone could find a way to make all pets live as long as humans that person would win all the Nobel prizes until the end of time."

"What do you call a snobbish criminal going down stairs? A condescending con descending"

"Got my wife an educational toy. It's a dildo that speaks Spanish. Rapido Rapido Rapido."

"A clown opened the door for me today. It was a nice jester."

"If you want your wife or girlfriend to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep."

"My wife wanted something that went from 0 to 200 in a few seconds for christmas So I bought her a nice sports car."

"Read a magazine at the doctor's office so I'm all caught up on Clinton running for president. I don't think Bush can beat him."

"People who claim to talk to God are so delusional.. I've never talked to any of them."

"What is something that can breakdance on the floor only once on their life? A fish"

"NSFW how much sperm does a gay guy have? A butt load"