59068

Joke of the Day

"ME: I had salmon for lunch. WIFE: the L is silent. ME: Ha, I knew that. I meant unch."

"Of all the kisses I've gotten in my life. That is the first."

"Did you guys hear about the CEO of Reddit? I heard he's a great guy."

"A little boy asks his dad, ""Is it possible to get AIDS from a public toilet seat?"" His dad replies, ""Only if you sit down before the other guy stands up!"""

"Q. What do you call a dead blonde in a closet? A. The 1995 Hide and Seek World Champion."

"My mom always said to wash the food before eating it She was a great woman. Not so her sandwiches."

"What do you call a missing psychic midget? A small medium at large."

"A coworker just asked me how I stay so thin so I responded ""I don't post pictures of my food online"" and I think she believed me."

"If Drake owned a breakfast cereal franchise, what would it be called? OV O's!"

"Friends are like trees... They fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe."