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Joke of the Day

"I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons. She did not find it humorous"

"Life is a soup And I'm a fork"

"Not realizing today's date, I just made a Pearl Harbor joke to someone... Needless to say, it bombed."

"My wife asked me recently to do something to commemorate our pet dog who got run over and killed last month. So I took a shit on the carpet."

"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Cyclops Barbie ...one eye right in the middle of her forehead; Cyclops Ken sold separately"

"People often complain and belittle alternative religious organizations like atheism and scientology... but at least atheism is a non-prophet organization."

"A guy found his dog lying in a puddle of blood behind his house He rang the number for the emergency animal rescue. 'Is it moving?' they asked. 'Yes', he replied. 'It's quite emotional.'"

"SPOILER ALERT: I just had a piece of metal fitted to the back of my car to reduce drag and increase fuel efficiency."

"Why is there all this hate against necromancers? They are just trying to raise a family in peace."

"Why didn't the schizo cross the road He was in two minds about it."