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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between Chelsea and Leo di caprio? Chelsea got Oscar. huehuehuehue."

"What's Iron Man's favorite ride at the carnival? The ferrous wheel."

"What did the German Footballer name his pet? Schweinsteiger."

"What do you call somebody who is allergic to wearing little alligators on their polo shirt? Lacoste intolerant."

"Why did the bachelors purchase double amputee strippers for their party? Because they were 50% off!"

"What's the best thing about an extremely drunk, angry girlfriend? They don't remember when you smack the ever living shit out of them."

"HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage."

"so the united states is ebola free now... I wonder how much the premium version of ebola will cost."

"I opened a company selling landmines that look like prayer mats Prophets are going through the roof"

"So, Burt and Ernie are just sitting at home, when Burt looks over at Ernie and asks, ""Hey Ernie, do you want to get some ice cream?"" Then Ernie said, ""Sure Burt."""