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Joke of the Day

"HULK WANT LOAN Bank: We can't loan to people like you. GREEN PEOPLE?? *flips table into moon* Bank: People owing 2.6B in property damage."

"Why are you eating a banana with the skin on? Oh it's all right. I know what's inside."

"With all these regulations and safety hazards about burgers... Rare meat is hard to find."

"Son: am I adopted? Me: not yet, but we're hopeful."

"Playing that 'Y'ALL READY FOR THIS?' song on your iPhone, full blast while entering a public toilet stall, feels pretty good."

"Have you heard? They pulled the Steve Irwin brand of sunscreen off the shelves. It didn't protect against deadly rays."

"What is the fastest way to lose pounds? Leave EU."

"A Cleveland Browns fan passed away In his will, he wrote that he wanted 6 players from the team to serve as his pallbearers, so that they could let him down one last time."

"Obviously I've considered doing porn since I have this huge... butthole."

"Chili today, Hot tamale."