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Joke of the Day

"Every time I have sex with my girlfriend I put a dollar in a jar. On Valentine's Day I use what I saved to buy a gift for her."

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Math Joke. There are 10 types of people. Those who know that this joke is in hexadecimal and F the rest. Credit: Numberphile"

"Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big."

"Poke joke Knock knock? who's there? Shaymin. Shaymin who? Shame in you!"

"Q: What do you say to an alien with two heads? A: Hello. Hello."

"Bert and Ernie Bert asked Ernie if he would like any ice cream. Ernie replied ""Sure Bert"""

"What serious crime has Michelle Obama done? Fucking a monkey! Beastiality is still illegal in most states!"

"Q: What do cats like to eat on a hot day? - A: Mice cream"

"Twitter gives me this paranoid feeling that I am being followed."