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Joke of the Day

"In a recent football game, a player sustained injuries, and the manager was fired after sending on the wrong player to replace him. Whoops, wrong sub."

"Why do melons always have big weddings? Because they can't elope."

"ATTORNEY: my client would like to confess ME: i sell human organs on the black market JUDGE [who needs a kidney transplant]: tell me more"

"MAN: [after being mauled by a bear] oh it's just a scratch MAN: [with a cold] omg i can't breathe i think i'm dying"

"What's the difference between Whitney houston and my car? My car can make it to 50."

"Why didn't Anne Frank finish her diary? She needed more concentration."

"A deaf guy walks into a bar... A deaf guy walks into a bar. Bartender says, ""We don't serve your kind here."" Deaf guy says, ""I'll have a beer."""

"How do you count cows? With a cowculator."

"What do you call a pile of frog dung? Toad stools"

"Have you heard of the new band The Transmission Lines? I hear they have so much potential."