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Joke of the Day

"Shift the power at family gatherings by telling older relatives you didn't recognize them because they've gotten so big."

"A photon checks into a hotel... A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage. ""No thanks, I'm traveling light."""

"Why did the zombie only eat blonde brains? She was on a diet."

"What do you call a god who lacks self-confidence? An atheist. He doesn't really believe in himself."

"We are thinking about making chili for Christmas Eve. We're starting a new tradition called 'silent but deadly night'."

"Why is the twin towers and gender the same. There used to be two of them but now it's to offensive to talk about."

"Happy Groundhog Day everybody!!! So put your little hand in mine and there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."

"IMAGINE the trash talk that goes on between Oxford & Cambridge ""I say. I heard your mum once went to Wolverhampton"" ""You take that BACK SIR"""

"1900: Let's filter coffee. 1950: We need to filter cigarettes. 1970: We should really filter water. 2015: I want to filter my face."

"Girl you got the brains of a seal. Wanna get smashed at the club?"