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Joke of the Day

"What serious crime has Michelle Obama done? Fucking a monkey! Beastiality is still illegal in most states!"

"League of Legends Joke Why do Jews suck at jungling? Because they always get executed at the first camp."

"Babe, can u vacuum a Chess board into the carpet again? the guys r here for a lifesize game *guys standing around in armor & kings outfits*"

"Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."

"""It's not you, it's me."" -Twins looking at some family photos"

"How do you become president of Russia? You gotta Put-in the hours"

"One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, ""Please send me a sister."" Santa Clause wrote him back, ""Ok, send me your mother."""

"Do you want to buy a broken barometer? No pressure.."

"What do vegan zombies eat? Grraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnssssssssssssssss"

"Happy New Year Reddit! Just Kidding you really came for my cake day! Happy 1 Year Reddit"