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Joke of the Day

"LPT: if you're trying to study, don't listen to music with lyrics Any modern pop-song should do."

"I got burned by a piece of metal on my pants when I pulled them from the dryer. It was a hot button issue."

"Jimmy Saville, Rolf Harris and Stuart Hall walk into a pub in Ireland The barman says ""Not Yewtree again"""

"I used to think I was schizophrenic. But then the voices in my head said I was fine."

"If You're every attacked by a gang of clowns... go for the juggler."

"Why was the jacket stinky? Because it was a windbreaker."

"So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub."

"How is food purchased an an Irish grocery? You buy it per-tater"

"Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats 20."

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can."