221900

Joke of the Day

"I saw a poster today, somebody was asking ""Have you seen my cat?"" So I called the number and said that I didn't. I like to help where I can."

"Reddit is a lot like being married... You are free to express your opinion on anything you like but you will quickly be informed as to why you are wrong."

"Told my dog I was feeding him only natural, holistic food. Not sure he could hear me over slurping of water from toilet."

"If George Raft's wife gave birth to twin Gorillas would they be the Apes of Raft?"

"People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us."

"Mom: Wear your jeans! There are too many mosquitoes outside. Feminist daughter: Don't teach me what not to wear. Teach the mosquitoes how not to bite."

"What do you call spending time with you family through BDSM? Family bondage time."

"what did 0 say to the 8? nice belt"

"Why can't you hear pterodactyls go to the bathroom? Because the pee is silent! I'm not ashamed."

"[reading online survey] Are you ready to double your satisfaction? My god this sounds wildly inappropriate. *clicks yes*"