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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the new German microwave? It seats 20."

"So I asked my North Korean friend how's life there He said he can't complain"

"If someone bumps into you while you are wearing camouflage you have no one to blame but yourself."

"If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself the accident would not have happened."

"How do you know your wife is getting vat... ... you have to switch off the light during sex. Not because she's ugly but because the bulb burns your ass."

"Men are like road kill. They usually just lie around until they start to smell."

"Make it hurt nsfw A woman told me to give her 12 inches and make it hurt so I fucked her twice and punched her in the face."

"I always have a note in my pocket that says ""john did it"" just in case I'm murdered because I don't want him to remarry #truelove #tips"

"Why didn't the Terminator upgrade to Windows 10? I asked him and he said, ""I still love Vista baby""."

"I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask... Oops, wrong sub!"