109698

Joke of the Day

"So a navy man returns to his ship after a night in port. The next morning he's shocked to find everyone speaking Russian... Whoops, wrong sub."

"I bet parents get annoyed when their kids ask ""are we there yet?"" when they're fully aware they now live in a car"

"I was the top student at Ninja school, but I failed because they kept marking me absent."

"One time, this guy handed me a picture of him, He said ""here's a picture of me when I was younger."" I responded ""Every picture is of you when you were younger."" -Mitch Hedberg"

"How many people from Quebec does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One: He holds the bulb and the rest of Canada revolves around him."

"I don't have black, Mexican, or Asian friends... But some of my friends are a bit more shady than others."

"Why are there so many piggy banks? Pigs don't like to hide their money in the mattress."

"What is Shakespeare's favourite snack? Hamlet du fromage"

"How does a penguin build its house? Igloos it together!"

"I entered Reddit's pun contest.... .... I submitted ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would get an upvote. Unfortunately, no pun in ten did."