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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a root beer in a square glass? Beer"
Next Joke
"""I left you a voicemail."" You honestly might as well have written it on a post-it and thrown it into the sea."
"It's really only a matter of time before Lady Gaga gets Justin Beiber pregnant."
"Just bought the extended version of The Hobbit. Bilbo is 7' 6"" now."
"If shame burned calories, I'd be back to my birth weight by now"
"When a jury found Chuck Norris guilty of murder, the judge sentenced himself to death rather than sentencing Chuck Norris to anything."
"If revenge is a dish best served cold AND revenge is sweet then revenge is basically ice cream. Bring it."
"Your resume just says ""falconer"" ""And?"" Well, this is a bank *falcon starts break-dancing* ""Not yet Tyler, wait until he offers us the job"""
"If a girl has sex with many guys, she's called a slut, but if a guy does the same... ... he's called gay."
"My high school bully still takes my lunch money... On the plus side, he makes really good subway sandwiches"