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Joke of the Day

"If shame burned calories, I'd be back to my birth weight by now"

"How do you know you're talking to a sales guy? He says ""I'm not a sales guy""."

"How do people with Mesothelioma live their lives? Asbestos they can."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff... bahhh dum hisss"

"Girl's status* ""Bored"" 86 likes 27 comments *My status* ""Just got accepted into Harvard! 0 likes 1 comment from Mom: ""nerd"""

"Why did the cod sue the fish and chip shop? Assault and battery. Sorry again. I'm bored in work."

"Finally realizing that Hotel California is about Twitter. ""...you can check in anytime you like, but you can never leave..."""

"How many ""friend-zoned"" guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they'll just compliment it and get pissed when it won't screw."

"""This little computer"" said the sales clerk ""will do half of your job for you."" Studying the machine the senior VP said ""Fine I'll take two."""

"If you enjoy waking up and checking to see what died, get a fish tank"