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Joke of the Day

"My high school bully still takes my lunch money... On the plus side, he makes really good subway sandwiches"

"When's the best time to go skydiving? Fall."

"[NSFW] Why does a walrus love Tupperware? Because he's always looking for a tight seal."

"ABORTION BILL A congressional aide asks a politician, ""What are we going to do about the new abortion bill?"" The politician replied, ""Shhhhh -- just pay it."""

"/r/creepy I mean seriously, one was just an open door."

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but getting them in there is a bitch!"

"What is Chuck Liddell's favorite fruit? The Grapple..."

"robin williams punchlines were always on point i never thought he would ultimately leave us hanging"

"Life is like a penis. It's soft and squishy until a girl comes along and makes it hard."

"I used to know a guy who shaved around six or seven times a day and still had a beard at the end of the day He was a Barber."