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Joke of the Day

"My date said he wasn't looking for anything serious like I was trying to help him solve cold case files and shit."

"Why did my sperm cross the road? Because my wife wore the wrong socks."

"Q: What do you get when you cross an Arab with a Mexican? A: Oil of Ole'"

"What do you call a 2x4 that lost its family to a fire? mourning wood"

"Eagles Guitarist Glenn Frey died today at the age of 67... There goes all my hopes and dreams for their reunion tour: ""Bald Eagles"""

"Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7"

"What's the difference between Asians and Caucasians? Asians don't have the ""cauc""."

"If you have The Black Eyed Peas on your iPod, 2 things: number 1, you're stupid and number 2, you have peas in a pod."

"Computer problems can be solved with duct tape if you apply it directly to the mouth of the person asking you to help fix their computer."

"What do you call a wall st. executive that sucks at his job and is obsessed with his ex girlfriend? A broke stalker!"