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Joke of the Day

"Drugs are never the answer kids. Unless the question is ""why have you been checking under the carpet for lizards for 3 days straight?"""

"What did the dyslexic Satanist do? He sold his soul to Santa."

"What's the difference between Luke Skywalker and a black man? Luke Skywalker eventually finds out who his father is."

"Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC? Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99"

"To the people who don't like me... suck it. To the people that do like me... same thing. "

"AMERICA: Where someone will eventually figure out how to fry Vodka"

"Son: ""Mom, Dad, I'm gay."" Mom: *Stares at Dad* Dad: *Clenches fist* Mom: ""Don't!"" Dad: *Sweats Profusely* Mom: ""..."" Dad: ""HI GAY, I'M DAD"" Edit: Yay top of r/jokes, #lifegoals Also formatting"

"I was standing in the elevator at work and I couldn't remember why I was mad... Then it hit me"

"How do you start a rave in Africa? Glue a piece of toast to the ceiling."

"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? Because they're extinct."